I hope you slip on this shit…
What if cigarettes were called vaginas.
You’d be like, dude let me get a vagina off of you.
It amazes me how many people swim in lakes and shit like it’s no big deal. It’s like, don’t you ever think of what scary monster is in the damn water, like it’s gonna eat your legs off? Am I the only fucking person who thinks and does this shit?
Friend: Hey dude you want to go swimming at the lake today?
Me: Yeah fuckin right, I’ve seen the fucking movies.
It’s the new ritual. tweet #X before you drive to let your friends know you’re unavailable while driving.